COVID thru the heart of an empath

I’ve went back and forth over writing the last few weeks. Write something uplifting and funny because sweet baby Jesus knows we could use it right now? Or face the red-eyed, coughing elephant in the room head on? So here goes nothing…

A little background: I’m an empath. I soak up all that is around me: the good, the bad, the ugly. I tear up multiple times daily for good and bad. I thrive in harmonious situations when the girl gets the guy and people are rewarded for their hard work. My core people are diverse in many ways: I talk daily with the bluest of blue and the deepest of red. I’m purple, and despise politics; because it’s not harmonious in the least. Oh and I’m in health care, but I LOVE (with emphasis) the arts and firmly believe that there is NOTHING more powerful than music. I know doctors with multiple degrees, and one of my favorite people did not graduate high school.

So – I’m a sponge who has friends in high and low places. Not exactly, but Garth makes it sound so good. My point: I’m soaking up lots of different points of view. So let’s address my humble, empathic opinion of a few remarks involving this whole crap show.

“This is no worse than the flu. People need to calm down.”: Fair-ish. Scientifically similar. Key difference: the flu has a 100 years of immunity and antibodies, and A FLIPPING VACCINE and still kills THOUSANDS of people every single year. That one is easy for me. I’m going to go refresh myself on the “Spanish flu” now…

“This is all about money.”: You damn betcha. When every letter in sports (MLB, NCAA, NBA, etc) is willing to LOSE thousands/millions of $$$ in an effort to stop the spread. Yep, money is involved. When people are forced to close the restaurants and storefronts they’ve poured their hearts and souls into: yep. Money there too. Oh and what about my friends who have gone to school for 746 years with lots of zeros in their student loan debt and they have to close to keep their patients safe? So much money. Let’s not even get started on the trickle down effect for my friends who raise cattle and crops. It’s totally about money. All of it. Money into hospital systems. Money to politicians (Isn’t this a norm?). ALL THE MONIES! But it’s about lives too. So I guess, you pick what matters most, and what you want to focus on.

Speaking of money, “We overreacted and ruined our economy.” Yeah, open up your last quarter’s retirement statement and tell me you didn’t shed a tear. This is flipping awful. It’s disheartening. There’s no simple answer. But I ask, what is the current exchange rate for a human life in US dollars? All I can say is, hopefully it bounces back as quickly as it plummeted. Isn’t there something about a 7 year trend? Finances aren’t my thing either, but perhaps this is a nice reminder that living on credit isn’t always the best. Perhaps Dave Ramsay and his 3-6 month emergency fund recommendation doesn’t sound so foolish anymore. And now we know what to invest in just before the next pandemic: Titos and Charmin.

“We have to stop this virus.” Ummm…I’m all for big dreams and goals, but there’s no stopping this. In fact, if we STOP it, it won’t really be gone. 14 days isn’t enough. It’ll come back and we won’t have ANY immunity to it. So…in the IDEAL world, we want everyone who can tolerate it to actually get it and win their immunity idol, all while buying us time for scientists to create a vaccine to save those who won’t tolerate this virus. Though this feels like a terrible sci-fi movie, we DO NOT get to pick who gets infected…so the best way to protect those who won’t live through it is to stay the F away from them. This will buy our hospitals space and our scientists time to understand this little bastard better.

“The media is to blame.” I think the media has a responsibility to keep people informed, even if the information is scary. Do I think the media is a bunch of divisive, fear-mongering turds sometimes? Yup. Do I think those of us who use Social Media or like to gossip are just as guilty? Yup. We don’t do our own work to investigate people or posts. We pick what we feel is right and share it with all our friends. I wish we all could use the phrase I use for my kids: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it helpful? If it’s not, then keep it to yourself.” Myself included.

“This is all about politics.” Well when our mayor, our governor, and our president are all on the news every single damn day, I’d say there’s some political involvement. See my note above about my love for politics, but here’s my two cents…If we could just listen to hear, instead of listening to argue and we could contain our snide remarks and pre-judgements, maybe we could catch something useful. ENDLESSLY when we’re talking politics, we’re talking about what we hate in the opposite person, never what we love about our party/representative. It’s all elephants and asses to me. You may not like who is saying it (or their hair, or their skin color, or where they’re from, or blah blah blah – you people and your social media cowboying of nastiness astonish me), but they are surrounded by people from both sides of the color wheel and even the “DUMBEST” people are right sometimes. I mean, I’m pretty sure COVID is kind of purple too.

“This only affects the old and those with weakened immune systems” Depending on the college, the statistics, and the news station, I believe saying less than 10% of people who get this will have serious complications is a safe bet. But damn it: that’s my grandma, my running buddy, and possibly you. Because you might have a heart defect that you’ve trounced around with your whole life. So, I will wear my mask. I will sanitize my hands til they bleed. And I will do my best to get them through this round unscathed until the disease is better understood and a safe vaccine is found. Those at higher risk are worth it to me.

“I just want things to go back to normal”  (Ok this one is me.)  I miss my running group.  I want to run my races. I want to sit at a concert and feel the magic.  I’m so tired of rinsing my coffee cup to switch over to vodka. Kidding…sort of.  Lord knows I want to bless the teachers with my children again. 🙂 Everyone has their list of norms: their events, their hobbies, their habits, their celebrations.  We are all missing out. All of us. There’s not a single person right now whose thinking, “Man, this is the life.” All I can think is that all of our lists will be even sweeter when we have some immunity and understanding of this little bastard virus and we can return to our new normal.  

So there’s your window into a heart that feels the weight of the world. I don’t think anyone is entirely wrong. I don’t think anyone is entirely unscathed. I don’t think anyone is loving this. Some days I cry and feel hopeless, and some days I feel inspired by the ingenuity and the spirit of humans.

In the end, my hippie heart believes that rainbows always follow storms…even shit storms like this.

Be good to yourselves and patient with everyone else.