How many times a day do you say “Thank You”? Those magic words…the ones that toddlers adorably attempt. (My little says, “Tank tu, Mama!” and melts a tiny layer of ice off of my frigid heart.) Most of us probably say it 10-20 times a day…instinctively, without a thought! Anyone who hands me coffee or food gets a thanks. The people who come see me at work. The gentleman who holds the door for me. The people who let me and my babe cross the crosswalk in the “danger zone” before school…and don’t rev their engine or scowl. You get a “Thank you”. You get a “Thank you”! Everyone gets a “Thank you”! Except for…you know what I noticed lately? It’s like the people we are closest to we forget to thank.
Awhile back my insomnia led me to an article about the best ways to make a man feel good. One of them said they like to hear “Thank you.” So I started telling the hubs I appreciated him doing the dishes, switching out the laundry, or picking up the kiddos so I could hit the gym. The little stuff that I would usually bitch about: “Why do you stack the dishes that way?” or “For shits sake leave the washer lid open or our clothes will smell like butt!” I have to admit that I noticed the more I said thanks…the more he did, and the better I felt about it. Like a little puppy aiming to please? Or maybe it feels better to do things knowing that someone notices? I think it’s the later.
Since we first started dating I have asked him something that to this day makes him roll his eyes: “Tell me something.” We spent the majority of our relationship apart in the early years and I was dying to know everything about him. The rules were simple: tell me something I don’t know. It can be a story about work(but those are my least favorite), or what his favorite holiday was as a kid, or something he loves (about me preferably). Recently we were snuggled in bed without a child screaming or karate kicking our faces and I whipped out the old, “Tell me something.” This time he didn’t roll his eyes, you know what he said? (Brace yourselves!). He said, “Thank you. Thank you for supporting me. Thanks for doing so much with the kids when I’m gone. Thank you.” I cried. And I realized how good it felt to have someone recognize my efforts…to hear him sincerely say it…because the truth is most times I feel less than adequate as a working mama. Most of the time I feel like a naggy, half done-in maid. But you see…I’m giving it my all every day. And it felt so good to hear someone say that my all was possibly enough. And appreciated.
So here’s the deal…tell those close people you love “Thank You!!”. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it, if that’s all you can do. Even if sometimes you wish they’d just flipping put the toilet paper roll on the right way just flipping once…they put it on there. This goes for the mom who watches the kids in a pinch. The friends who come baring wine after a rough day. The co-worker who has your back when your mind is somewhere else. The crew who keeps us glued together…who gives us what they have when we need it. And even though sometimes we want and expect more from those we adore…sometimes what they’re giving us is EVERYTHING they have at that moment. And we’re pretty damn lucky after all. So let’s tell them!!